Less than a month until I turn 24. Holy shit. That is ridiculous. Not because I'm going to be turning 24 (after all, 24 is a bullshit age), but because it means less than a month until my epic birthday celebration.
Maybe you've heard about it? A Rooftop Birthday Barbecue Extravaganza on Keavy's roof... the biggest birthday celebration since December 25th, 0 A.D.
And absolutely everyone is getting ready for my birthday. It seems my earlier fear that President Barack Obama was uncertain about attending was totally unfounded. Say what you will about his politics, but that man has style.
Keavy and I spent the weekend getting ready for my birthday too. We decided that a good place to start would be with the barbecue grill we'd need for the party. Rather than just tell you how it all went down, why don't you take a look.
That's right mother fuckers, we bought a grill. And last night I built that grill... and then I filled it with charcoal and lit it on fire and grilled some kielbasa on it. It was the best thing I've ever tasted, and it was slow grilled over hot coals into which I breathed life. If there are barbecue grills in heaven, than I assure you that god (and the late Bea Arthur, rest her soul) has a Weber One Touch too.
The way I see it, if you're one of those assholes that has rsvp'd "Maybe," than the purchase of this grill is reason enough to finally declare your intention of attendance. If for whatever asinine reason you DON'T come to my party, you will never have the opportunity to taste meat grilled on my barbecue grill. Maybe because I'll hold a grudge... or maybe just because I can't say with any certainty that the grill is going to survive that impending raucous event.
And now, time for a FAQ update!
Q: "Present contest"? Is that some kind of joke?
A: Absolutely not. Rather than asking individuals to contribute alcohol or foodstuffs to the party, I decided that it would be way more fun to provide all of that myself and ask for a mere token in return. And what better motivation to get people to actually bring me presents than to make it a contest?
Q: Is the winner of the Present Contest actually going to win anything?
A: There will be a tangible prize for the winner of the Present Contest, yes. The prize will be revealed on this blog in the coming weeks.
Q: What happened to that hilarious September 11th joke you had up in the last post?
A: That joke was insensitive and hurtful, and I apologize sincerely to the families of those affected.
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yo. Do you know how to grill my brother?
ReplyDeleteI happen to be quite the master-griller. My burgers are known far and wide...
Will this be a grill your own affair or will there be a principle chef?
Just want to know.
Also, 4Square?!?!?! Where the fuck you been man!??!?!?
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ReplyDeleteHmm.. I wouldn't profess to be a master, but I've definitely earned my chops behind the grill.
ReplyDeleteIf you're volunteering you're more than welcome to hit the grates and grill up some specialty fare... I'd love to try one of your burgers.
As it stands I'm considering getting another grill, just to fill some hungry bellies faster... but we'll see.
Sundays have been rough... 4Square has been calling me hard, especially with the weather... but I've been lending a hand peddling cupcakes on Saturdays at the Fort Greene Flea and Sundays at the DUMBO flea. I'm going to try and make it out soon though. I think we've found ourselves a substitute vendor for Sundays.
Hope to see you soon bro